III
(I,
I am afraid to begin;
I have always been.)
(If it ever comes, look around the words
for their possibilities.)
(If it’s not for you,
you won’t be able to open it.)
(It will remain useless
like seeds in a package.)
(I,
I had more than this in mind;
I can only remember glimpses now:
Let this couplet pass
beneath feet like grass.
The breath-long hint of some escape,
a keyhole glance into another kind of outside,
distant scents of transcendence.
I look at the tree limbs,
brushed by an airy current,
through the high windows
at the corner of the room.
We have our walls
to contain bits and pieces,
to say where this and that
end and begin.
The door is closed—
the air we breathe
is the same air that
we’ve breathed and breathed again…
What am I missing?
When did I sense the lack?
When I ran around the yard with no clothes like everyone,
we ate wild grapes from neighbor’s fences,
smiled in family photographs.
When was it that I began
to wonder about the things
being poured into me, feeling unfilled?
Kool-Aid and Bible verses,
Birthday parties and happy stories.
On the black, uneven playground
I saw jets cross from one side
of the sky to another
and wondered who was on them.
On Saturday mornings, from bed
I could hear a train whistle
coming from the directions of the mountains,
but never saw tracks or stations.
At five years old, I kissed a girl
on her shoe, underneath the table
and saw a hundred ants
crazy over a sweet lemon drop.
In the smooth face of a girlfriend,
I could see the border of ---------,
tried to trace it onto my retinas,
unable to keep it there long.
What was I expecting to find?
To be taken to the place I could meet
the one I thought I was waiting for?
What I was always waiting for,
what I always wanted…
if only you could get it and keep waiting for it;
to keep it and keep wanting it.
Let this couplet pass
beneath feet like glass.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Puzzle No. 5
AMONG THE FLOWERS
If I could see you as you are instead of how you seem
I might save my heart some pain, but I could never dream
and if I could be myself for once, I think that you’d like me
but I can’t show you anything you can’t already see
Are you who I think, or who I dream?
Who you are, or who you may be?
Is this real, more or less?
Or is what I feel meaningless?
How could I see you as you are without remembering
you lying asleep among the flowers (it was a scene unseen)
and if I could play the part again, I’d give myself for you
so you could walk out in the sun in all of your virtue
I say your name under my breath to hear it said
I see your face on the inside of my eyelids
and I listen for your voice, but I can never hear it
I close my eyes cause when I dream it will be clear again
My love comes to you like waves crashing on the shore
Oceans trying to get to you, but always falling short
If I could see you as you are instead of how you seem
I might save my heart some pain, but I could never dream
and if I could be myself for once, I think that you’d like me
but I can’t show you anything you can’t already see
Are you who I think, or who I dream?
Who you are, or who you may be?
Is this real, more or less?
Or is what I feel meaningless?
How could I see you as you are without remembering
you lying asleep among the flowers (it was a scene unseen)
and if I could play the part again, I’d give myself for you
so you could walk out in the sun in all of your virtue
I say your name under my breath to hear it said
I see your face on the inside of my eyelids
and I listen for your voice, but I can never hear it
I close my eyes cause when I dream it will be clear again
My love comes to you like waves crashing on the shore
Oceans trying to get to you, but always falling short
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Puzzle No. 4
BIRDS AT NIGHT, TREES BY DAY
I’ve gone dead to poetry cause I don’t see what good it is if you don’t read it
and I’d like to forget myself, to get over myself
if I could lose my pride, I’d probably find you
I look for you everywhere, if you’re in the air,
I can’t keep my feet on the ground
and I don’t have anything to take your place
I’ll stare into the sky ‘til you come back
Cause I miss you, don’t go away cause I’d miss you, why do I dream
that I miss you, I’ve got to pray, I don’t want to miss you…but I do
Some birds singing in the night made me want to write
to let you know that it made me think of you
I know I’d sound pitiful with a word like ‘beautiful’,
but how else should I say what I mean?
As unexpected as a sweet tasting flower, I’d jump into you like a waterfall
I could think up thousands of lousy comparisons, would you care at all?
Maybe if we were trees, we could tangle our limbs
and give some shade to the kids on a street
when winter would strip us down, I’d close my eyes
‘til spring brought all your leaves back again
I’ve gone dead to poetry cause I don’t see what good it is if you don’t read it
and I’d like to forget myself, to get over myself
if I could lose my pride, I’d probably find you
I look for you everywhere, if you’re in the air,
I can’t keep my feet on the ground
and I don’t have anything to take your place
I’ll stare into the sky ‘til you come back
Cause I miss you, don’t go away cause I’d miss you, why do I dream
that I miss you, I’ve got to pray, I don’t want to miss you…but I do
Some birds singing in the night made me want to write
to let you know that it made me think of you
I know I’d sound pitiful with a word like ‘beautiful’,
but how else should I say what I mean?
As unexpected as a sweet tasting flower, I’d jump into you like a waterfall
I could think up thousands of lousy comparisons, would you care at all?
Maybe if we were trees, we could tangle our limbs
and give some shade to the kids on a street
when winter would strip us down, I’d close my eyes
‘til spring brought all your leaves back again
Friday, April 11, 2008
Puzzle No. 3
SECOND CHANCE (BACK FROM EXILE)
If only we could be together
Again in this garden, morning
Sounds of flirty bird calls and
Heavy-limbed shade of thick leaves.
I would kiss your bruises and
Put my thumb and lips on your cut,
Offer my pale forearms to the bees so
You could turn your pages undisturbed.
With your olive island legs laying
Against the shore of my rib cage
I let my fingers run like children
On your sand, then lie down to dry,
Short-breathed and thirsty with longing.
When did I first know you?
What was it like not to hide?
How can this knowledge become
Once again unknown, forgotten?
The line of the sun moves over
Us, an advancing army charged to burn
And the open-mouthed trail of a plane
Above is a knife to this illusion.
You clap your book shut on a tiny fly,
Now an abstract piece in bits of black
And red—I am dead impressed.
You let the book fall and cross your
Arms over those eyes of wet earth.
Are you even here with me?
Have my hands really moved over you?
When your eyes close, where do
You dream of returning to?
If only we could be together
Again in this garden, morning
Sounds of flirty bird calls and
Heavy-limbed shade of thick leaves.
I would kiss your bruises and
Put my thumb and lips on your cut,
Offer my pale forearms to the bees so
You could turn your pages undisturbed.
With your olive island legs laying
Against the shore of my rib cage
I let my fingers run like children
On your sand, then lie down to dry,
Short-breathed and thirsty with longing.
When did I first know you?
What was it like not to hide?
How can this knowledge become
Once again unknown, forgotten?
The line of the sun moves over
Us, an advancing army charged to burn
And the open-mouthed trail of a plane
Above is a knife to this illusion.
You clap your book shut on a tiny fly,
Now an abstract piece in bits of black
And red—I am dead impressed.
You let the book fall and cross your
Arms over those eyes of wet earth.
Are you even here with me?
Have my hands really moved over you?
When your eyes close, where do
You dream of returning to?
Puzzle No. 2
THE WORD ON THE TREE
You pick the word ‘apple’
without really grasping it
(though you may think you feel
a sense of its gravity),
lower it into your mouth
like the full length of a flaming sword
and bite into an empty sign
with no original signified
you don’t have a damned reason to fall
for someone else’s idea of guilt
(why take their word for it?)
instead, you blink and whisper slowly
recreating all things in your own imagination
to freely play in a garden
of uncut hedges and broken sundials
circles without circumference or center
geometry of sand
continuum without ends
shades of nameless colors
and the freedom to forbid
the establishment of any rules whatsoever
then the taste of white apple flesh and a scarlet peel
evaporates like carnival candy with only a sticky residue
you reform the word in your mouth to reattach it to its limb
and when you make the ‘L’ sound
the backs of your teeth are smooth as seeds
You pick the word ‘apple’
without really grasping it
(though you may think you feel
a sense of its gravity),
lower it into your mouth
like the full length of a flaming sword
and bite into an empty sign
with no original signified
you don’t have a damned reason to fall
for someone else’s idea of guilt
(why take their word for it?)
instead, you blink and whisper slowly
recreating all things in your own imagination
to freely play in a garden
of uncut hedges and broken sundials
circles without circumference or center
geometry of sand
continuum without ends
shades of nameless colors
and the freedom to forbid
the establishment of any rules whatsoever
then the taste of white apple flesh and a scarlet peel
evaporates like carnival candy with only a sticky residue
you reform the word in your mouth to reattach it to its limb
and when you make the ‘L’ sound
the backs of your teeth are smooth as seeds
Puzzles & Puzzle No. 1
Seeing as I haven't posted anything here since 2006, I'm thinking that maybe "blogging" may not be the most motivating form of writing for me.
However, seeing that I have written a lot of lyrics or poems over the years & have seldom shared them with anyone, this humble site may be the perfect medium in which to foist my creative musings upon an unsuspecting public.
And so, with that introduction, I give you the first of many puzzles...
LINE TO MYSELF
I never wrote any poetry
But there were turns of phrase, barely rhymed
That came to me
They were never true (never absolutely)
Just certain things that I wished I’d say
Someday
Given the chance
Given a break in the clouds
Why can’t we be ourselves
Like we are when no one is around
Give me a hand
Give me an hour of your time
You may not understand
But at least I’ll know you’re trying
I never wrote anything worthwhile
But there were certain lines I’d written down
That could make me smile
They were never real (truly and completely)
I tried to be someone who I could not be
It wasn’t me
Give me a chance
Find me a break in the crowd
Where we can stand
When the rain is coming down
We can go inside
And you can tell me what you know
I may not understand
But I’ll try not to let it show
However, seeing that I have written a lot of lyrics or poems over the years & have seldom shared them with anyone, this humble site may be the perfect medium in which to foist my creative musings upon an unsuspecting public.
And so, with that introduction, I give you the first of many puzzles...
LINE TO MYSELF
I never wrote any poetry
But there were turns of phrase, barely rhymed
That came to me
They were never true (never absolutely)
Just certain things that I wished I’d say
Someday
Given the chance
Given a break in the clouds
Why can’t we be ourselves
Like we are when no one is around
Give me a hand
Give me an hour of your time
You may not understand
But at least I’ll know you’re trying
I never wrote anything worthwhile
But there were certain lines I’d written down
That could make me smile
They were never real (truly and completely)
I tried to be someone who I could not be
It wasn’t me
Give me a chance
Find me a break in the crowd
Where we can stand
When the rain is coming down
We can go inside
And you can tell me what you know
I may not understand
But I’ll try not to let it show
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